So I put alot of thought into what I want this year to look like. I decided that I'm going to take a non-linear approach. Instead of abiding by a list of strict resolutions, I'm foregoing that idea. I figured it would be better to focus on what energies that I want to create this year. But first I had to examine what is in my way. Some of the things that are impeding my progress: fear of inability to complete projects,clinging on to relationships that aren't fulfilling and clutter/physical junk.
I feel like I constantly accumulate things that I eventually need to rid myself of. It kind of like a snake that sheds its' skin right? Well how about making the choice to not let things enter your life that you know on a sub-conscious level are not good for you. It's almost like forgiving ever single person that has stabbed you in the back and letting them all move into your house. Would you ever do that and live in a state of constant suspicion? Ofcourse not. What I am saying is, if you have even the slightest hunch that something is bad for you, avoid it up front and save yourself the trouble later. At the same time, accept that not everything is a race. If you need to give yourself space to think things over, do it. I am amazed how in one day, you can find totally clarity that you couldn't seem to find the previous day.
A few words came to mind when I thought of what kind of energy do I want to bring into my life. The words adventure and bravery jumped out at me. I see life as an adventure. We all come into the world with a set of tools and weapons, some that we accumulate either through nature or through nurture. As we approach the dark forest like that of Bilbo Baggins (yes this is a nerdy Lord of the Rings reference), we will certainly get attacked by goblins. We have to fight evils that exist outside of ourselves which are external factors that are mostly out of our control. The irony is that the demons that are the hardest to face are the ones within ourselves. For example, the harsh inner critic can sabotage everything unless we make a choice to slay it. My favorite inner demon is the procrastinating perfectionist, she is a real bitch.
I decided that this year I am going to carry my sword and find my own truth. What do I really, really want when I close my eyes and lay down on my pillow at night. What do I really dream of? Imagine that you could have anything you wanted before you were afraid you couldn't get it and all the excuses chimed in. This year, bravery is my word. Bravery means I can go forth and do what I need to do without worrying about the what-ifs. Bravery means I can open my heart despite the many moments that others have completely crushed it. Bravery means I can take a chance with the one life I've been given because we don't really know if we have another shot. Bill Cosby said, "Decide that you want it more than you're afraid of it." Right on Bill! There are a few things I really do want and you better believe I will go get them. Are you willing to do the same?
Saturday, January 1, 2011
If you are reading this post, it means you were blessed enough to have survived 2010. I have never had a year go by so fast as this one did. I'm not really sure if it's because I was so busy. Time itself is an abstract concept and I am not about to explore that tangent. In retrospect, I learned so much this year. I have a few more pearls of wisdom that I'd like to share:
Open-mindedness: The surefire way to fail is to be so rigid that you can't see opportunities as they present themselves. The best way to be disappointed is to hold specific expectations of everything. Sometimes we place an order to the universe and if it's not exactly what we asked for, we shun it away. Blessings come in disguises, all shapes and forms. The key is to recognize these things and make the most of what we have. In order to get what we desire, there is no clear cut way but rather a series of paths we need to take to get there.
Loyalty: Loyalty is very noble. But if you fore go your own principles to make someone else happy or comfortable that's not loyalty, it's called disrespecting yourself. Clear boundaries are often needed to succeed without being depleted. Enough said.
True love: I thought I knew what love was. It is a mystery that still intrigues and also confuses the hell out of me. I'm not the expert at relationships and have gone through way too many of them in my opinion. But I return back to the same core idea that no relationship is a failure. Relationships are mirrors. The other is the self. Our reflections help us learn and grow therefore every encounter serves a purpose whether it's painful or joyful, sometimes both!
You can meet what you think might be the ideal person that has everything on your perfect little checklist or ridiculously long checklist. But true love is fully accepting a person as they person they are with all of their faults, imperfections, baggage and wounds. Real love is saying, "I am going to walk through the fire with you as you are and I don't expect you to make me happy...I just want my splendid imperfections to dance with yours. I don't need to be with you because you make me feel good about myself and feed my ego, but rather it is because I enjoy your company and feel at peace when we are together."
Friendship is the rock that holds two people together happily, not lust, nor passion, or sex. That often tricks us. Real love is raw. It transcends ego and it is based on truth and respect. So now that I know what it is, or have a vague idea, if it finds me or I find it that's great. I'll be okay with or without it. It is sweet to think that you could spend your life with someone that genuinely accepts you and has your back no matter what. When everything in the world is so transient, imagine what consistency and stability could do. An adventure is all the more wonderful when you know that you have someplace wonderful to return home to.
So each and everyone one of us can take our experiences and lessons from last year and look towards the future. Have you reflected on 2010 and made peace with it? If not, now is the time. Set your intentions and write your new list. If you didn't quite finish a project from last year, you can re-intent it. I hope for everyone a healthy, prosperous and wonderful new year! Many thanks for reading!