Bravery

So I put alot of thought into what I want this year to look like. I decided that I'm going to take a non-linear approach. Instead of abiding by a list of strict resolutions, I'm foregoing that idea. I figured it would be better to focus on what energies that I want to create this year. But first I had to examine what is in my way. Some of the things that are impeding my progress: fear of inability to complete projects,clinging on to relationships that aren't fulfilling and clutter/physical junk.

I feel like I constantly accumulate things that I eventually need to rid myself of. It kind of like a snake that sheds its' skin right? Well how about making the choice to not let things enter your life that you know on a sub-conscious level are not good for you. It's almost like forgiving ever single person that has stabbed you in the back and letting them all move into your house. Would you ever do that and live in a state of constant suspicion? Ofcourse not. What I am saying is, if you have even the slightest hunch that something is bad for you, avoid it up front and save yourself the trouble later. At the same time, accept that not everything is a race. If you need to give yourself space to think things over, do it. I am amazed how in one day, you can find totally clarity that you couldn't seem to find the previous day.

A few words came to mind when I thought of what kind of energy do I want to bring into my life. The words adventure and bravery jumped out at me. I see life as an adventure. We all come into the world with a set of tools and weapons, some that we accumulate either through nature or through nurture. As we approach the dark forest like that of Bilbo Baggins (yes this is a nerdy Lord of the Rings reference), we will certainly get attacked by goblins. We have to fight evils that exist outside of ourselves which are external factors that are mostly out of our control. The irony is that the demons that are the hardest to face are the ones within ourselves. For example, the harsh inner critic can sabotage everything unless we make a choice to slay it. My favorite inner demon is the procrastinating perfectionist, she is a real bitch.

I decided that this year I am going to carry my sword and find my own truth. What do I really, really want when I close my eyes and lay down on my pillow at night. What do I really dream of? Imagine that you could have anything you wanted before you were afraid you couldn't get it and all the excuses chimed in. This year, bravery is my word. Bravery means I can go forth and do what I need to do without worrying about the what-ifs. Bravery means I can open my heart despite the many moments that others have completely crushed it. Bravery means I can take a chance with the one life I've been given because we don't really know if we have another shot. Bill Cosby said, "Decide that you want it more than you're afraid of it." Right on Bill! There are a few things I really do want and you better believe I will go get them. Are you willing to do the same?

Welcoming in the New Year!

If you are reading this post, it means you were blessed enough to have survived 2010. I have never had a year go by so fast as this one did. I'm not really sure if it's because I was so busy. Time itself is an abstract concept and I am not about to explore that tangent. In retrospect, I learned so much this year. I have a few more pearls of wisdom that I'd like to share:

Open-mindedness: The surefire way to fail is to be so rigid that you can't see opportunities as they present themselves. The best way to be disappointed is to hold specific expectations of everything. Sometimes we place an order to the universe and if it's not exactly what we asked for, we shun it away. Blessings come in disguises, all shapes and forms. The key is to recognize these things and make the most of what we have. In order to get what we desire, there is no clear cut way but rather a series of paths we need to take to get there.

Loyalty: Loyalty is very noble. But if you fore go your own principles to make someone else happy or comfortable that's not loyalty, it's called disrespecting yourself. Clear boundaries are often needed to succeed without being depleted. Enough said.

True love: I thought I knew what love was. It is a mystery that still intrigues and also confuses the hell out of me. I'm not the expert at relationships and have gone through way too many of them in my opinion. But I return back to the same core idea that no relationship is a failure. Relationships are mirrors. The other is the self. Our reflections help us learn and grow therefore every encounter serves a purpose whether it's painful or joyful, sometimes both!

You can meet what you think might be the ideal person that has everything on your perfect little checklist or ridiculously long checklist. But true love is fully accepting a person as they person they are with all of their faults, imperfections, baggage and wounds. Real love is saying, "I am going to walk through the fire with you as you are and I don't expect you to make me happy...I just want my splendid imperfections to dance with yours. I don't need to be with you because you make me feel good about myself and feed my ego, but rather it is because I enjoy your company and feel at peace when we are together."

Friendship is the rock that holds two people together happily, not lust, nor passion, or sex. That often tricks us. Real love is raw. It transcends ego and it is based on truth and respect. So now that I know what it is, or have a vague idea, if it finds me or I find it that's great. I'll be okay with or without it. It is sweet to think that you could spend your life with someone that genuinely accepts you and has your back no matter what. When everything in the world is so transient, imagine what consistency and stability could do. An adventure is all the more wonderful when you know that you have someplace wonderful to return home to.

So each and everyone one of us can take our experiences and lessons from last year and look towards the future. Have you reflected on 2010 and made peace with it? If not, now is the time. Set your intentions and write your new list. If you didn't quite finish a project from last year, you can re-intent it. I hope for everyone a healthy, prosperous and wonderful new year! Many thanks for reading!

The Beauty of the Season

This is an amazing, eventful time of year but at the same time it can be really stressful, right? It can often be a trigger for a lot of emotional issues to surface because we are easily reminded of the things we've lost during the holidays. But I prefer my glass half to almost all the way full! At some point in our life, we all experience loss & drastic changes to our lifestyle but some losses are blessings in disguise. We must put those things to rest and see what cups are still standing. Our instinct is not to just survive but to thrive!


We could all probably put the Snoopy psychiatry booth to use. This was taken at the Mill Ave. Christmas parade on 11/27/10

The end of the year is a great time to take inventory on our lives. We should give ourselves the opportunity to reflect on the year and our accomplishments or lack thereof. I know that many people have expressed to me that they didn't get everything "done" that they wanted to do this year. This is okay. We are blessed with the coming of 2011 and so we can re-intent our goals.

Even if we didn't outwardly accomplish much, there might be some inner work that you've done. It could mean that you became more patient or wise this year. Or maybe you had a shift and became less materialistic or critical of others. For me personally, this year has been a lot about improving my health and physicality by getting out there and moving my body more often...running, hiking, camping, yoga, swimming and rock-climbing. On an inner level, it's been more about allowing myself to set boundaries while figuring out what truly makes me happy. This is also referred to as "keepin' it real". :)

So as the air continually gets chillier, you can warm your heart by reconnecting with those who haven't reached out to in awhile. I just adore this time of year. There is nothing better than snuggling to keep warm. I find great joy in being able to give to the people that I care about. I hope you find great joy this season in the simple things like preparing a delicious meal with love in it, the smell of firewood burning, baby Eskimo kisses, sharing wine with friends and the feeling that everything is quite alright after all...

Happy Holidays and continued gratefulness for football season!

Wisdom gained that I'd love to share...

Hello Everyone,

I am back from a terribly long hiatus. Honestly the past few months have felt really difficult to me. I had to basically "clean house" metaphorically speaking. Let me tell you, once in awhile you have to step back and look at your life objectively and see what patterns, people, habits, things are holding you back. Then you have to be brave enough and willing to do the work to systematically remove them & create space for even new, better opportunities. I talk about this a lot, I know. But I finally went from talking to doing. So now that I've had the time to go inward, I'd like to share with you some of the things I've learned and perhaps it might help you too:

1. Relax when you fall, it hurts less.

When I climbed Humphries Peak this year, I literally fell up the mountain and even more so down the mountain. I can't help but to laugh when I think about it. But I must've slipped about seven times on the way down to the point that I deemed myself a professional faller. When I knew I was about to slam down onto my butt, I literally relaxed my body and it didn't hurt as much. I see this as a metaphor for life. Sometimes you just don't have control over certain aspects of your life, so the best thing to do is, is just surrender because sometimes we have to go through certain things in order to grow. Even if it's really painful like falling and gashing your leg open, if you can be graceful when you do it that's all that matters.

2. After age 30, metabolism goes to hell.

I remember when I was 20 years old in the Army, I could polish off an entire Papa John's Hawaiian pizza and fit in a size 2. Now I even look at a cookie, I have to spend 2 hours in the gym to burn it off. So with this awareness, I had to shift my eating habits and I'm still working on it. It's so easy to turn to food when we feel stressed or emotionally unfulfilled. The lesson here is, keep healthy food in the house so when you do feel the need to stuff your face after a long, stressful day, you can eat something nutritious that benefits you. It's just a good habit to develop, no matter what age you are.

3. Thoughts are most powerful thing we possess.

There is a current trend now where people are being more exposed to the idea of the power of "positive thinking" and quantum physics. This is not just some fluffy new age theory, science is proving how our thoughts create everything in our lives down to our emotional fabrics & our health. I am slowly learning to shift my awareness and attitude. It takes time. But the biggest key to success is maintaining an "attitude of Gratitude". When some bad happens, be in gratitude. When something wonderful happens, be in gratitude. There is always so much to be thankful for in almost every situation. So I return back to this very simple principle when I feel like I am going to fall apart.

This is Oak Creek Canyon, where I went camping with my daughter. It's such a beautiful place to regroup.

4. Never settle.

This is a given, right? Then how come we a majority of us are guilty of this? It boils down to being impatient. The irony is that settling ends up wasting more time in the long haul. Especially in relationships, it's such an easy trap to fall into. We try to paint a prettier picture for fear of being alone. My thought is, it's better to be alone than to be with the wrong person. In any given situation, I think the best thing is to take into consideration not just what you want but also what you need in order to be healthy, successful and fulfilled. Our needs and wants can be bridged if we take the time to sit back & assess what is really going to be right for us.

5. If you think you're accomplishing nothing, it's probably not true.

Everyday I feel a lot of unnecessary guilt and pressure that I put on myself. I really have not been able to do anything creative. All of my energy is devoted to my work and my children. So I look at the empty canvas and frown that I've done nothing. I beat myself up for running 2 miles instead of 10. But it dawned upon me that I am doing the best I can and raising children is a wonderful accomplishment and creation in itself. With that said, if you feel like you've haven't been doing "enough" lately...take a step back and see that you are probably doing more than you give yourself credit for. If you genuinely feel like there is no movement in your life, with the new year approaching maybe it's time to think about where you can shift.

So hopefully this has helped you in some way or another. If not, let it marinate a bit. Thank you so much for reading and I believe I will stay in my writing groove for awhile, more sharing to follow.

Soul Sisterhood

I feel compelled to write about sisterhood...mainly out of sheer gratitude. I have never had a biological sister but throughout my life have been blessed with many soul sisters.

As far as my early experience with female relationships, my mother was never really there for me emotionally. If anything it was vice versa. I felt like I had to be a mother to her since I was five. So a void was created, not having that strong mom to turn to. I still feel that void especially when I am having troubles, sometimes I want that "mom" but she is not there. Furthermore, I was a tomboy growing up and bonded with boys much easier. It's not until I was about nineteen that I started to embrace the beauty of having female friends that I loved as sisters. These beautiful women have inspired me. There are too many amazing memories to count. The best part is knowing that you can have healthy friendships that don't cave into drama and jealousy, which often happens with women.

We are stuck with our biological families but we can choose our friends and choose them wisely. Eventually friends can become family, even closer than blood. When romantic relationships fail miserably, friends are still there to pick up the pieces and dry the tears. When I need something, I know I can pick up the phone and have someone really listen to me and tell me what I need to hear even if it's tough love. That is the most amazing blessing to know that someone cares for you and supports your dreams. Please don't take that for granted.

Your Relationship With Money...

It's amazing how much of our life revolves around money. What is your relationship with money? Is it healthy? Money is energy. It flows. It can allow us great freedom and lack of it, strips us of our dreams. Some things to look at: Are you careless with your budget? Were you raised with the idea of constant lack and scarcity?



Some Helpful Tips

I wrote a list of some ideas that might help you save for the things that really mean a lot to you. I don't like seeing people struggle. If you can't make your bills or are in financial strain, maybe consider some of these tips:

1. Open up a savings account & stash money in there every paycheck, even if it's just $25, it adds up after awhile.

2. Sell what you don't need anymore or things you've outgrown.

3. Trade/barter with a friend.

4. Create a vision board with things you'd like to work towards (if you need help with this, let me know).

5. Make use of whatever free resources you have like the library. Consider doing some things outdoors that are free when the weather cools down.

6. Don't eat out as much. It's pretty common to waste a ton of money on dining. You can cook at home and even make a date of it. This also includes skipping a few nights at the bar, you can drink at home. It is much cheaper & it's not going to kill you to make a small sacrifice.

7. Skip the mall once in awhile and consider second hand stores like Buffalo Exchange. I can understand the desire to have brand new things, but sometimes consigned items can be great.

8. Prioritize your time and see if there is a way to make extra cash with a skill that you have. (as long as it's legal) ;)

9. Visualize prosperity. Any time you panic that you don't have enough, re-wire your thoughts. Like attracts like. Maybe use a positive affirmation. "I am surrrounded with wealth." "All my needs are always provided for."

10. Take a chance and look into making an investment, like stocks.

11. Skip the $4 lattes and make coffee at home. Think about it, if you buy 15 lattes a month, that's $720 a year! Good lord, that's alot of money!

12. Negotiate to have your bills lowered. Sometimes if you call your insurance companies, you can lower your rates. Maybe look at your cell phone plan and see if you are paying for more than what you actual use. This goes for cable too. If you are never home, then why would you pay $60 for something you don't even use.

13. Really re-consider big financial decisions before taking the leap. Always look at what the chances are that you will have a high return on investment. The worst thing you can do is make a hasty decision like buying a home or racking up a college tuition bill that you'll be paying until your 80. A little patience & reconsideration may save you some serious grief.

14. Don't buy into the idea that the economy is terrible and that we are all doomed to be poor. Stay positive. There are alot of people out there who are doing amazingly well financially. You are just as capable as they are, so believe in yourself!

Hopefully some of these tips are helpful to you. If nothing else, I hope that maybe you can reconsider your attitude around money. Furthermore, if you do end up with more than you need, remember to share with those who genuinely need it & keep the good energy flowing. I would love to hear your thoughts!

Letting Go & Allowing Abundance

First of all, Happy August! Today was Lammas which was "the early harvest". It's a time when the grain begins to ripen and we can start to enjoy the fruits of our labor. Before we can harvest anything though, we have to create space. If we do not let certain things go in our lives that are unhealthy, then the same lessons will rear their ugly heads over and over again until we realize that we are in the stranglehold of self-defeating patterns.

Life is meant to be bountiful. If you feel like something is lacking from your cup, then it's time to "clean house". I love using affirmations to help me with situations like this. How about trying, "Today I lovingly let go of things that no longer serve me and allow the new to enter. I trust that the universe has a greater plan for me." You might to need to let go of a negative thought pattern, fear, the need for control, or a relationship/friendship that is unfulfilling. The irony is that you may look back and realize that something you put your energy towards was a complete waste of time and now you are freeing up energy for greater, better opportunities.

Trust me, I know it's not easy. If you have something you are struggling to let go of, journal it and burn it. Have a small ceremony to say "goodbye" to that habit, that person, that negative thought that is holding you back. Ask for the support of your friends or family in helping you let go. Tears could fall, let them out for they are cleansing. There is so much love to be had & there are enough resources to go around. You might even see that you are the only thing standing in the way. Get out of your own way & begin to fill your basket.