So I put alot of thought into what I want this year to look like. I decided that I'm going to take a non-linear approach. Instead of abiding by a list of strict resolutions, I'm foregoing that idea. I figured it would be better to focus on what energies that I want to create this year. But first I had to examine what is in my way. Some of the things that are impeding my progress: fear of inability to complete projects,clinging on to relationships that aren't fulfilling and clutter/physical junk.
I feel like I constantly accumulate things that I eventually need to rid myself of. It kind of like a snake that sheds its' skin right? Well how about making the choice to not let things enter your life that you know on a sub-conscious level are not good for you. It's almost like forgiving ever single person that has stabbed you in the back and letting them all move into your house. Would you ever do that and live in a state of constant suspicion? Ofcourse not. What I am saying is, if you have even the slightest hunch that something is bad for you, avoid it up front and save yourself the trouble later. At the same time, accept that not everything is a race. If you need to give yourself space to think things over, do it. I am amazed how in one day, you can find totally clarity that you couldn't seem to find the previous day.
A few words came to mind when I thought of what kind of energy do I want to bring into my life. The words adventure and bravery jumped out at me. I see life as an adventure. We all come into the world with a set of tools and weapons, some that we accumulate either through nature or through nurture. As we approach the dark forest like that of Bilbo Baggins (yes this is a nerdy Lord of the Rings reference), we will certainly get attacked by goblins. We have to fight evils that exist outside of ourselves which are external factors that are mostly out of our control. The irony is that the demons that are the hardest to face are the ones within ourselves. For example, the harsh inner critic can sabotage everything unless we make a choice to slay it. My favorite inner demon is the procrastinating perfectionist, she is a real bitch.
I decided that this year I am going to carry my sword and find my own truth. What do I really, really want when I close my eyes and lay down on my pillow at night. What do I really dream of? Imagine that you could have anything you wanted before you were afraid you couldn't get it and all the excuses chimed in. This year, bravery is my word. Bravery means I can go forth and do what I need to do without worrying about the what-ifs. Bravery means I can open my heart despite the many moments that others have completely crushed it. Bravery means I can take a chance with the one life I've been given because we don't really know if we have another shot. Bill Cosby said, "Decide that you want it more than you're afraid of it." Right on Bill! There are a few things I really do want and you better believe I will go get them. Are you willing to do the same?